Falling apart

I´ve heard from my mom, since I was a child, that after the storm comes the calm...
Well, the calm is being too busy lately with the others, and the visit she ownes me is delayed....
I feel like being on the eye of the hurricane, and I don´t think that this is gonna end soon....
Do you know how horrible is, when your life, your relationships and everything is falling apart?
I lost a friend, not because he died, but because he´s a jerk, and he doens´t care about it. I haven´t seen my sister for one year, and I wont see her for, at least, 8 months. My voice teacher just said that if I don´t change my prioritys he wont teach me anymore (imagine if all my teachers said that...). I just kissed someone I shouldn´t, and the problems about it begin to grow. And the worst of all: the conductor I admire the most, is sick. He´s a very good professional, usually I learn a way more in his rehearsals than in my conducting classes. In addiction, he´s a very special guy. I love him. It´s amazing how he treats everybody, and with one word he makes the orchestra play beautifully...Since the beginning of his desease, he showed himself as a very strong man, he never complain, when I visited him to confort him, I went out felling better, not because of me, but because he didn´t need to be conforted, he made me believe that he would be healthy in a couple of months. But last week he passed though 3 procedures, and now he doens´t fell good. The doctors doens´t know if he can pass trough it.
When a good friend of mine is sick, I feel like beeing sick myself. It makes me feel awful.